Tuesday, 4 September 2012

My re-crating paragraph

Today we are practiced re- crating a piece of writing. The first paragraph belongs  aldora and the second is mine.

Aldora writing 
“yeah” I said happily to myself. I was nearly there. I sprinted to the finish line and  made myself happy. I had a drink and then I had a rest. Looking
down at my pretty purple and black shoes, it was all muddy and yucky.

My writing
“YAY” I sang proudly to myself. I was so ecstatic that I had cross the finish line. As I past the fountain I had a drink, then I sat down. Looking at my shoes they were covered with thick mud. We all felt exhausted.

1 comment:

Hannah said...

Hi Puawai,

I really like your sentence begings and how your detail is really interesting. Keep up the cool work!

from Hannah

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